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Confidence! Nowadays, one thing we deal with as millennial women that supremely kills our ability to exude effortless self-confidence is the seemingly never-ending battle between ourselves and those thoughts and feelings that tell us we’re not attractive enough or good enough.

These thoughts and feelings keep us playing small and prevent us from attracting so many good people, opportunities and experiences in our lives. Amiright?!

We lose career opportunities, potential romantic relationships, opportunities to expand our professional network, goals and dreams, and so many other experiences because we let those thoughts get the better of us.

It sucks!

So it’s time to stop that.

Even if you’re suffering from low self-confidence, no one needs to know it girlfriend.

I don’t believe that you need to be or feel confident 100% of the time, however, I do believe that you must learn how to exude effortless self-confidence and put your game face on when life calls for it.

You see where I’m coming from?

So, to help you master the art of effortless self-confidence so that you can show up in your life as a genuine, authentic boss babe, I’m here to save your day, your year, and maybe even your life, with 13 tips and tricks you can implement into your daily routine that will undoubtedly help you become (or at least appear to be) an effortlessly self-confident Queen.

Yaassss!

Before we dive in, make sure you grab your free gift of Confidence, Charisma & Social Power right here…

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1.Mindset

Create a Powerful Showtime Mantra

One of the biggest keys to exuding self-confidence is when you feel good about yourself.

Thus, you can never appear effortlessly self-confident if you allow those thoughts of not feeling good enough to take over your mind and fill it with toxicity.

Before you can appear confident you have to be mindful of the chatter going on between your ears. If it’s one thing self-confident people don’t do is speak negatively about themselves.

So instead of thoughts like, “I’m going to look so stupid”, or “no one is going to listen to what I have to say”, or “this isn’t going to work out”, consciously repeat in your mind over and over again uplifting mantras like, “I’ve got this!” or “I’m ready for my light to shine!” or “I’m ready to succeed cuz I deserve it!”.

These will keep negative thoughts at bay, help condition your mind to believe that you ARE good enough, and help to produce positive outcomes.

It’s time for you to feel oh-so-good about yourself girl!

Assume the Best

The absolute worst things you can do when you need to come across as a confident woman is to think worst case scenarios and expect failure from the start.

I’m speaking to myself here as well because I’ve had many of those moments too.

But the truth is that our thoughts become things.

As such, if you go into a situation expecting failure, and your thoughts are primarily focused on anything and everything that can go wrong, then most likely you’re going to step into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The truth hurts, but I’ve gotta tell ya!

Don’t set yourself up to fail. Set yourself up to succeed.

You do that by assuming the absolute best.

Keep your thoughts focused on all the ways in which things will go great. Assume that everyone is going to gravitate towards you. Assume that you will say only the right things. Assume that you will get the respect that you desire and deserve. Assume that everyone will think you’re the most captivating woman they’ve ever met.

And most likely it will all come to pass before your very eyes.

Appreciate Yourself

Before others can value you as a self-confident person, you first need to find value in yourself.

Think about your talents, skills, capabilities and accomplishments. Never forget that you are a powerful human being. Congratulate yourself for all that you’ve been through and all that you’ve done – you’re a survivor.

Appreciate that!

You are 100% enough.

2.Outward Appearance

Look and Feel Your Best

On the days when you don’t feel attractive or good enough, that’s when you MUST take extra good care of yourself.

Looking and feeling your best is imperative to your self-confidence and well-being.

So on the days when you feel insecure or down on yourself, but you need to walk into the office, prepare for that job interview, host a workshop or go on a date, promise me that you’ll take extra special care of your hygiene, the clothes that you wear, your hair style, the food that you eat and your exercise routine.

I’m sure I can add more to that list, but you get the point.

Even on the days when you feel your best, these wellness routines are worth the time, energy and effort.

By taking care of yourself, you naturally grow to feel better about yourself, and that confidence will exude outward. Which is great for you, considering appearance and first impressions are very powerful dictators of success.

Taking care of your body and dressing with class, poise and sophistication, in a way that makes you feel good, will not only make others draw themselves to you, but you will command respect, people will perceive you as more powerful, you will look good, you will feel good and you will exude effortless self-confidence because you’ll know that you’re the bomb.com.

3. Actions

Look People in the Eye

One of the things we fail to do as women, especially if we’re shy, introverted or suffer from social anxiety, is that we usually tend to look away from others when in conversation.

Instead of looking at the people we’re talking or listening to, our eyes are everywhere else – looking at our phones, scoping out the room, staring at the floor – we just can’t keep our gaze hooked.

I don’t exaggerate when I say that this is such a rude, low-confidence habit that is guaranteed to cause others to distance themselves from you because they don’t feel like they’re being heard or listened to. No bueno.

You will come across as scatter-brained, distracted or inattentive. And no one likes being ignored, right?

However, if you’re on a mission to become your best self this year, one of the best things you can do to exude effortless self-confidence, even when you don’t naturally feel it, is to actually look people in the eye as you interact with them.

Try the 80/20 rule. Look into people’s eyes 80% of the time whilst interacting, and allow your eyes to wander for the next 20%. Or better yet, let them be the ones to shift their gaze first this time.

Even in a group or crowd of people, alternate eye contact if the situation calls for it. It’s a very powerful way to demonstrate friendliness, empathy, interest and strong self-confidence – so go ahead and show people those beautiful eyes!

Laugh & Smile

Don’t you just love being around people who laugh and smile all the time?

That high vibe energy is so contagious!

People who naturally laugh and smile exude effortless self-confidence, warmth, friendliness, approachability, happiness, charm, charisma, and above all, likeability. They make you want to be around them all the time.

So if you’re in a place in your life right now where you want to attract more people into your circles, my key advice would be to lose that frown or resting bitch face, and smile more. Laugh more. Show off those pearly whites!

Give people a reason to approach you, by the simple fact that you appear to be so happy and confident within yourself.

Adjust Your Posture

There are sooo many ways in which you can adjust your physical state to ensure that you’re portraying the most confident version of yourself. I feel like I’ll be cheating you guys if I list just one way, so here’s a list of a few pivotal ways in which you can adjust your posture to exude an air of effortless confidence:

1 – Face Front

Instead of turning your body slightly away from the people you interact with on a regular basis, consciously remind yourself to aim your torso and toes toward them.

Frontal facing not only shows a sign of respect toward the people you communicate with in person, but it also shows that you’re a focused human being, you’re charismatic, and you’re not insecure or hiding away in any way – you’re not afraid to show up face to face.

2 – Stand Tall

Instead of slouching or curving yourself over into a ball, stand tall and take up space. This is important especially for those gals who are usually surrounded by men, or who work in male-dominated industries.

This may seem hard to accomplish for some who are so used to slouching over, but by creating the simple mindful practice of straightening your spine and keeping your shoulders back, you will naturally appear poised, self-confident, self-assured and authoritative wherever you go.

Take your tall walk into the office, that job interview, the next networking event or on that date – you won’t regret it.

Walk like you own the world dammit, even if you don’t feel like you do.

3 – Strike a Power Pose:

Striking a power pose usually means opening yourself up and taking up more space in a room.

A few examples include:

standing with your feet hip width apart

positioning your hands in steeple position, and

placing your hands on your hips whilst puffing your chest

By doing these, you will feel powerful and people will perceive you as more powerful.

Use Your Hands

In Caribbean culture, we use our hands when we’re talking A LOT! We use them for emphasis; to make a point; to chastise, to show endearment and so many other uses.

However, when I go abroad I tend to witness this habit others have of folding their arms, or keeping their hands in their pockets when in active conversation or interacting with others. Coming from a different culture, this trait always confused me.

To me, folding your arms or hiding them in your pockets always makes a person come across as standoffish, nonchalant, and bored. It’s not a good look.

However, if you use your hands to gesticulate your words, or to provide occasional moments of light touch, you not only hold the attention of those listening to you, but you also appear to be more enthusiastic, more passionate, and confident in your words and in your body.

Speak Slowly & Clearly

Speech plays a HUGE part in exuding effortless self-confidence. Just by the way you talk people can tell whether or not you’re a confident person. Speaking too fast or in a soft tone of voice can surely cause you to appear shy, nervous and lacking confidence.

Thus, to prevent poor speaking habits in your day-to-day interactions, you ought to learn to control your speech.

Pause to think before you speak.

Frame your sentences in your mind first.
Take your time with your sentences.
Use better words.

Remove those ‘umm’s and ‘uhh’s.
Articulate your words clearly.
Project your voice audibly.

By practicing speech control, you will naturally appear to be so charismatic, dominant, self-assured, smarter, and effortlessly self-confident.

It’s gonna take conscious practice but you can do it!

Introduce Yourself First

One of the ways you know that a person is confident, or at the very least jumping out of their comfort zones, is when they approach you first.

Why not be that person?

Instead of waiting for someone to take charge, or assume the leadership position, or approach you, introduce yourself to them and begin dialogue before you have the chance to change your mind.

By being the first to approach someone under any setting immediately puts you in the driver’s seat of the conversation, allows you to be perceived as a leader, and shows that you’re a dominant figure who is self-assured and self-confident.

This is especially since most people are also petrified of putting themselves out there first.

Be someone who breaks that cycle.

Be Still

Another thing that shy, insecure, anxious or nervous ladies also do is fidget.

They play with their hands, shake their legs, tap their feet, touch their accessories, play with their hair, bite their nails, constantly shift standing positions, or do whatever brings them comfort during times of self-doubt and low self-confidence.

Fidgeting makes you look effortlessly shifty, nervous, anxious, uncomfortable, unprofessional, and without self-control. Not effortlessly self-confident. Do you want that?

If you want to exude effortless self-confidence, one thing to be mindful of is your tendency to fidget. Developing self-awareness in this area is so crucial. Instead, try to sit or stand still, and only move when appropriate (without looking like a robot of course!)

If a job interview, presentation, public speaking or interacting with strangers causes you to fidget, here’s what you can do:

take deep calming breaths to quieten your heart-rate
quieten your mind by trying to stay in the present moment, and
practice saying confidence-boosting affirmations to shift your mindset

Do whatever you can to ensure that your nervous actions do not make it a challenge for others to focus on your message.

Stop Apologizing

One thing I realized women do a lot, myself included, is constantly say the words, “sorry”.

We’re always apologizing or feeling guilty for something!

Learn to break out of that cycle by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

No apologies.

By owning your truth in a genuine, authentic way, you naturally feel and act more confidently.

Practice

One thing I know about all of these tips is that they require practice.

If you’ve always felt shy, insecure, socially-awkward, nervous, or anxious, the first few times of practicing these traits will be absolutely frightening and nerve-wracking.

However, I beg you to power through it with conscious, purposeful intentionality.

Go out to networking events or other social gatherings to practice some of these techniques.

Or in a more private setting, practice with a friend.

Once you consciously decide to develop your self-confidence this year, you’ll quickly realize that it does not take long for these tips to become habit; especially when you begin to reap the rewards from these actions and mindset shifts.

Faith it till you make it my loves!

Over to You

Which tips did you find helpful in today’s post?

How do you exude confidence even when you don’t feel like it?

What practices and habits will you adopt this year to explode your self-confidence?

Share your tips & tricks in the comments!

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