Self-confidence. Sometimes, this can be an elusive myth, dream, folklore or fairytale to many women (even some that I know *raises hand*). I know for certain that one thing 99.999% of women wish they naturally had more of was top-notch, bold self-confidence. The truth is that even if we think we possess inner self-confidence, many times our words, thoughts and actions reflect the fact that we don’t.
Let’s be honest here, if we ladies had more self-confidence, we would believe even more in ourselves, and in our abilities to do absolutely anything we put our mind to. Amiright?!
I know for a fact that I thought I was one of those self-confident women. I always thought I was naturally brave and self-confident. I mean, I was confident enough to…leave home at 18 to study in a different country. I’ve been confident enough to make new friends from cultures completely opposite to mine. Also, I’ve been confident enough to travel alone multiple times. I remember thinking, “Yea, I'm super confident”.
But when I experienced (ahem, suffered through) my first heartbreak, and simultaneously began my coaching certification 3 years ago, the doors to understanding self-awareness, self-worth and the law of attraction opened up to me. To my amazement, I realized that self-confidence actually comes in layers and levels – and there were so many ways in which I lacked true confidence – the type of confidence that would take me to an entirely new level of growth and maturity.
Does This Sound Like You?
Sure, I was brave and confident enough when it came to seeking adventure, new opportunities and challenging experiences. But at that time I also didn’t possess true self-confidence in areas like these…
- Zero confidence when it came to speaking up for myself and owning my voice (especially in the workplace)
- Zero confidence when it came to having difficult conversations (especially with family or friends)
- Zero confidence when it came to telling people what I really thought due to feelings of guilt or fear of rocking the boat (especially with friends or partners)
- Zero confidence in being able to hold my end during an argument or confrontation of any sort (especially with partners).
Tell me, do any of these sound like you?
If I encountered any of those situations, I ran for the wind girl!
I JUST COULD NOT DEAL with the feelings that came up for me in those moments. I never knew what to do.
I never really understood that a big part of self-confidence is about feeling secure in and about yourself.
It’s about trusting yourself, knowing that regardless of any situation you will be able to handle it, despite any consequences that may come you will survive, and you will learn from the outcome of every challenge. Self-confidence is knowing that no matter what comes your way, you cannot and will not fall apart or be destroyed.
Till today, many times I still don’t know what to do 100% of the time, but with every passing day I’m getting better and better, hugely thanks to the Law of Attraction rituals I’ve developed for myself.
Like Attracts Like
When I understood that “like attracts like”, and that you can use your thoughts, feelings, words, and energy (good or bad / positive or negative) to manifest reality, more of life opened up to me.
You may not lack confidence in the same areas I do, but if you’re reading this, I know that somewhere in your life you’re allowing fear to get in the way, and it’s keeping you from growing, maturing, and becoming the best version of yourself in all areas.
From the workplace, to leadership, to relationships, to starting a business, to travel, confidence is important in every area of your life, especially during times where you feel unsure of yourself or ready to give up.
So, the million dollar question is this…how can you begin to release that fear FOR GOOD, and replace it with a self-confidence that comes from deep within every single day?
Well..there are many different ways you can begin this journey. But I’m going to share with you how I raised my confidence levels using 5 Law of Attraction rituals that you can literally implement into your life by the time you read the last sentence of this post. Apply them to any area of your life where your confidence is lacking, and you’ll be surprised at the changes you make over time.
But be warned: you’ve gotta stick with it! This isn’t an overnight miracle my love!
The first stop is to make sure you sign up for my free video masterclass to learn how to begin attracting what you want into your life in 7 simple steps. Attracting your desires into your life NO DOUBT helps to boost your self-confidence.
Now, let’s start with #1 shall we…
Law of Attraction Ritual 1: Ask. Believe. Receive.
This is one of the simplest, most straightforward rituals you can apply to your self-confidence journey. Abraham Hicks speaks alot about this concept in the book “Ask and It Is Given”, however, the foundation of this concept actually begins in the Bible, believe it or not.
It's okay if you're not religious or spiritual, the takeaways themselves will help you on your journey to self-confidence.
So, the book of Matthew 7: 7-8 states: “ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened; for everyone who asks receives. He who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened“.
Also, the book of Mark 11: 24 states: “whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours“
So, what does this mean when it comes to attracting more of what you want into your life (aka more self confidence)?
What To Do & How To Start?
Simply, the first step is to have the courage to ask for what you want (this is number 1)!
Ask God, the Universe or the Higher Power you believe in for what you want (more self-confidence in the workplace or opportunities to practice your self-confidence in an area of your life, for example).
Put your desires out into the atmosphere. Out into the Universe. Verbalise them. Let God / the Universe know what you want – and be specific!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH – PLEASE BE SPECIFIC about exactly what you want. As specific as you would be in placing the precise ingredients into your favourite meal or dessert so that it comes out just right.
In what areas of your life are you needing confidence? How would you like to show up as a confident person in those areas? How would you think, speak or behave? Things like this you’ve gotta be specific about when asking for what you want.
How do you ask, you may wonder? Well there are many different ways in which you can ask God/the Universe for what you want. But these are the ones I’ve used and work best for me:
- Scripting (future journaling)
- Writing affirmations
- Reading affirmations out loud as verbal declarations
Secondly, you can’t just ask for what you want and think that's it. The second component is to believe that what you have asked for (big or small, ordinary or extraordinary, simple or outlandish) you will receive. God / the Universe determines the right time, leave that up to Infinite Intelligence. Your job is to simply have faith and believe. With your faith and belief in tact, you’ll be blessed with self-awareness and a deeper level of consciousness to notice subtle signs of your confidence levels growing.
As the third component, you patiently and persistently wait till you receive. You don’t give up. You don’t relent. You don’t lose hope. You don’t lose faith. You keep holding on to your desires. You keep asking for your desires. You keep believing in your desires. That’s all you need to do to receive.
In the right time – in the best time – you will receive. One morning you’ll wake up and realize that you’re no longer afraid. Instead, you’re a bold, courageous, self-confident babe!
By putting your desires out there in faith, you will naturally begin to attract what you want into your life.
Law of Attraction Ritual 2: Positive Visualizations (See Your Success)
Visualization is one of the most impactful, life-changing law of attraction rituals you can add to your daily to-do list.
Along my journey I’ve also found it really exciting to be able to connect the law of attraction with Biblical stories dated centuries ago, just to be able to see how influential and inter-connected these scriptures and practices have been since the dawn of time. Here’s another one…
Genesis 13: 14 -15: God said to Abram “Lift your eyes now and look from the place where you are—northward, southward, eastward, and westward; for all the land which you see I give to you and your descendants forever”.
So, to give some context to this story, long (decades) before Abram even had any children, God was asking Abram to visualise his future. He was asked to visualise the land, the descendants and the blessings that God had in store for him. Instead of just giving it to him outright, God made Abram visualise it first, and believe in that vision before he could ever receive it.
To me, this was so powerful and resonated with me so much, because it dawned on me that God made Abram visualize “the end”. Not the beginning or the middle of his journey. The end! He made him visualize the land of his descendants, before the guy even had a kid! *mind blown*
It makes so much sense why law of attraction guru, Neville Goddard, stresses on the fact that we must visualize the end. Not the beginning, or the middle.
Just as Abram had no clue the trials and tribulations that were waiting for him in “the middle” before he got to his “end”, God made sure that he had his vizualization in mind to keep him going no matter what. And the same goes for us.
We don’t know the ups and downs or trials and tribulations that will come upon us during our “middle” on the way to bold self-confidence (or whatever we want, as a matter of fact); this is why we must create positive visualizations of our ideal reality, with a strong focus on our ideal “end”, so that we can stay the course without giving up.
What To Do & How To Start?
You must “lift your eyes and look from the place where you are”.
Begin to have a vision of what you want, regardless of what your current reality looks like right now. Begin to see and feel your confidence in your imagination. Envision how you would interact with others, the things you would accomplish, the way you would speak, how upright you would walk,the way you would treat yourself and others.
Begin to visualize your ideal circumstances so vividly and specifically by daydreaming, or even using your creative imagination for 5 minutes in the morning as you wake up, or at night before bed – always in the first person perspective.
To make things even easier, create a vision board that you can physically look at every day.
If you’re wondering what a vision board is, it is basically a physical, visual representation of your goals and dreams. It is a board that contains images and words that resonate and deeply speak to your soul’s desire of what you want to attract into your life.
Having a vision board is fabulous because the very act of finding the images, quotes and words for your dream board helps you to clarify exactly what you want, or what you're looking for. This way, you can easily visualize and put in that high “feel-good” vibrational energy toward making those goals and dreams a reality in your life whenever you look at it.
So fill your vision board with images of self-confident people that you admire, relationships you'd have as a self-confident woman, places you'd go as a self-confident woma, quotes that boost you up and reminders of how amazing you actually are.
Be sure to also use your emotions and senses when creating your vision board. What does it feel like, look like, smell like, and sound like? Using these questions as stepping stones to gathering images, quotes and words, can help you create a vision board that truly comes to life and invokes undeniable emotion.
Then, close your eyes and envision yourself being the most fantastic, wonderful, outgoing, powerful, fearless and confident woman in the world. What would you do? Where would you go? Who would you be with? How would you behave?
Are you making a fabulous presentation at work? Are you submitting your manuscript to a publisher? Are you hitting publish on your creative work for all to see? Are you a social butterfly when interacting with others?
Play your empowering scene over and over again in your mind, and naturally you will begin to feel self-assured. Your self-belief in your ability to accomplish what you see in your mind will increase exponentially. So, savour the joyful, exciting, powerful, courageous, fully alive feeling of self-confidence that you experience when you visualize.
As you open your eyes, set your intention to be able to summon up this wonderful internal state of self-confidence whenever you need a turbo-boost of courage and boldness.
Remember, as Bob Proctor said, “if you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand“.
Law of Attraction Ritual 3: Act ‘As If’ (Take Action & Put Yourself Out There)
Okay, my last Biblical reference is this one: James 2: 14-26 states that “faith without works is dead“
This is the other component to the ask, believe, receive model.
What it basically means is that you can have all the faith in the world. You can believe all you want. You can hope and pray all you want. But if you do not execute or take some form of action to back up that faith that you have, your faith is lifeless – null and void.
Isn't that the truth? If you look around, you'll notice that every accomplishment in life comes behind some form of action or hard work to make that thing a success.
One of the best ways to back up your faith with action is to begin to “act as if” you already have what you desire to attract into your life – despite the circumstances around you (that's the tricky part, of course).
How do you “act as if” you may ask? It's simple but it's not easy!
All you have to do is step out of your comfort zone and begin to TAKE ACTION in the direction you wish to go.
Wish and hope all you want, but nothing is going to happen if you stay in your comfort zone waiting for change to come knocking on your door.
So, in order to attract the self-confidence that you desire, it’s time to get uncomfortable babe.
What To Do & How To Start?
What can you do today on your self-confidence journey that will make you uncomfortable, but be a step in the right direction?
Can you think of a self-confident woman with confidence traits and habits that you wish to practice?
What can you do to feel more confident today, or this week?
Got some ideas? Great!
Do that! Run toward that calling from your highest self, not away from it!
Moving toward your discomfort, especially if it serves your highest good, allows you to experience your own greatness, unlocking a part of yourself that you probably never thought, knew or even imagined existed.
You can act as if in many simple ways by the way. The options are endless so don't limit yourself. For example, begin making plans and provisions for what you want, begin creating more room and time in your schedule to accommodate it, begin setting dates for your big day, begin looking for flights and accommodation for your dream travel destination, begin declaring your self-confidence to others that you trust, begin shopping for clothes 2 sizes down, begin practicing your thank you speech for your award or job promotion, or start networking and sending out those job applications to companies you would love to work for.
The list goes on and on. You can “act as if” you are a bold, self-confidence queen in SO MANY ways!
Big or small – whatever it is that you want, find a way to act as if your vision is your current reality – and this realigns your current world to embrace and reflect your desires.
Get out of your comfort zone and step out into the unknown. The more you challenge your confidence, and continue to graduate from level 1 to level 2, and upwards, it will naturally become easier and easier to act as a bold, badass self-confident woman.
The more confident you act, the more confidence you attract.
Never forget that babe.
Law of Attraction Ritual 4: Start a Victory Log Book (Document & Celebrate the Wins)
This Victory Log is something that I’ve been doing for over 5 years, and you bet it is life changing!
Every single success I've had, in every area of my life, I’ve made it my business to document.
From starting this blog, to making a new friend, to starting a new job, to letting go of a toxic situation or person, to losing weight…every milestone I’ve had, I’ve documented on a yearly basis.
At the start of every year, I begin a new victory log.
I don’t know if it’s the historian in me (I did history at school and love that milestones are always documented so that they can be remembered forever), but keeping a victory log book has given me the ability to look back over the past 5 years to see what I’ve accomplished on which date, how much I’ve grown as a person, and how far I’ve come in life.
I CANNOT stress enough how much you won’t regret starting one.
You can document this in your gratitude journal, in a notebook, on your smartphone, or on your computer, anywhere you desire; but the main point is to keep a running list of your daily successes, that you can add to each day.
What To Do & How To Start?
You can begin by writing down your successes from yesterday – as many as you can remember.
Anything you deemed a success, from waking up on time to getting to bed earlier than usual, write it down.
Then, write down your daily successes for today.
Once you do that, you’re on your way.
Did you have moments where you felt self-confident yesterday or today? Start with those for your daily victory log.
Some examples can include:
- I stood up for myself and said “no” when usually I would say “yes” to what I don’t want to do
- The dress and shoes I chose to wear today made me feel so good about myself
- The difficult conversation I had with my boss today turned out better than I thought
- I voiced my thoughts and opinions at the meeting today instead of staying quiet.
Keep this list going, literally for the rest of your life, and keep it in a safe place so you don’t lose it. This is so that over time you can log these victories into your long-term memory and maybe even share it with a loved one one day.
As simple and seemingly insignificant this idea sounds, I guarantee you that it is so helpful, and so powerful in building up your self-confidence to the highest degree.
This log book will help you notice when you DO feel confident during your day to day life.
As you re-read your victory logs, FEEL the satisfaction. FEEL the pleasure. FEEL the pride. FEEL the confidence. The more you FEEL these positive emotions, the more your dominant vibrational energy will be bold, self-confidence.
I know that I always beam with pride, surprise, and happiness whenever I re-read my log books of the past to see how much I've accomplished and how much I've grown.
And strangely, in keeping this log, I'm inspired and motivated even more to add to the list, and constantly seek opportunities to grow, build or achieve, than if I never had one.
With a log book, I am always on top of, and held accountable for my goals. You will too.
With every victory you make on your journey toward self-confidence, big or small, you win.
Law of Attraction Ritual 5: Affirmations (Positive Self Talk & Thoughts)
Positive affirmations are something I've done for YEARS! Probably over 10 years now. Long before I ever truly digested their power. However, it’s only been over the past 2 years that I've consciously witnessed how much of an influence it’s had over my life, ever since I healed from my heartbreak, and grew so much through my coaching program.
In the past, I wrote down dreamy affirmations about myself and my life, some of which I didn't even believe were possible, but I wrote them simply because I was on my own journey of self-discovery and searching for ways to improve my life. My Google searches and underlined books told me that affirmations were a great way to start. And so, with child-like faith, I added it to my life. No questions asked; just a desperate desire for change. That's as simple as it got for me.
As a result, I have pages upon pages of positive affirmations which declare the reality of certain goals and dreams, but now I love using them every single day. At this point, I can literally see and feel them working in my life as I'm so aware and observant of the signs.
I've spoken about it in more detail here if you wish to know more about positive affirmations, but they are basically positive, present tense “I am” statements that declare something as true.
Boy! These “I am” statements are powerful! Speaking positive affirmations over myself and my life have also brought many manifestations into existence.
But, your affirmations can also be religious scripture, or spiritual mantras that resonate with you.
I personally say my affirmations out loud as I feel more emotionally-connected to the words and its also my way of asking God / the Universe for what want.
However, you can also read these affirmations daily in your head, or even write them on sticky notes and place them around your space so you can read them throughout your day. Do what works for you.
Either way, these affirmations help to shift your energy from a low vibration to a higher one. They help you develop a more positive success-oriented mindset. They are also great for helping you overcome any negative mental chatter about yourself or a situation by equipping you with positive words to replace the negative immediately.
As you continue to repeat these affirmations on a daily basis, they WILL become a part of your core belief system – this is a great place from which your manifestations will occur because your belief in your desires is strong.
What To Do & How To Start?
If you asked me if there is anything on this list that you should begin with first, I'd tell you it's this.
Affirmations help to raise your vibrational frequency almost immediately (even if you don’t believe in what you're saying at first), and shift your mindset into a more positive, courageous one, making you open and ready to participate in any of the other rituals.
If you have never tried positive affirmations before, this is the perfect time to begin!
Here are 11 self-confidence affirmations to help you begin to manifest the self-confidence you’re seeking:
- I am the most confident woman I know
- I am able to speak to anyone with ease
- I could care less what anyone thinks of me
- I am fearless and powerful
- All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. I am safe
- I work well under pressure with calm, ease and flow
- I always make wise decisions
- I easily let go of the old, negative, limiting beliefs that have kept me living in fear and stood in the way of my success – I am free
- I take on each new challenge with love, peace, power, and grace
- I never fail – everything that happens to me, happens for me and makes me an even better person
- Others look up to me as a trustworthy leader because of my bold self-confidence
From this list, you can pick your favourite ones and write them down.
Then, create your own list. Choose affirmations that make you feel good and that you definitely want your future to look like. Your subconscious mind will be more eager to digest these words as true, without protest.
Recite them every day, several times a day at best. Once you shift your mindset toward more positive self-talk, it will begin to dawn on you that you really, truly are great. I promise.
Speaking positively and kindly to and about yourself is key my lovely.
From there, you’ll see the Law of Attraction begin working in your life or situation.
Focus on what you love, appreciate, and value about yourself.
Over To You
As you can see, bold self-confidence is not an overnight process.
It takes time to shift your self-belief.
Self-confidence is about believing in yourself, knowing yourself, loving yourself, and respecting yourself
…and this can take time.
But by using these law of attraction rituals, you will fast-track how you feel about yourself, how you physically present yourself, and what you focus on every day.
You will become a self-confident woman who stands up for herself and goes after her goals, scared or not.
Trust me, once you see the manifestation of a goal or desire, then you’d be hooked on the LOA as a lifelong practice. What better way to test LOA out than on becoming a strong, bold, self-confident woman?!
Sadly, most of humanity lives on auto-pilot; spending a great proportion of time in their heads. They either focus on their ex partners, past toxic relationships, crappy jobs, crappy bosses, bad days, boring lives, or daydream about a mythical future where all of their issues and problems will magically go away. But this is not the way to live.
By using these law of attraction rituals, you harness your personal power and take action to literally change your life for the better. In this way, you are making a conscious choice to begin believing in the highest version of yourself – to begin believing in change.
You choose to no longer be a victim of your circumstances. To no longer be a puppet pulled on strings. To no longer be timid, quiet, shy or fearful when it matters most. Your confidence will naturally grow stronger and stronger. Plus, the best part is that you will start to attract more of the things you want, and less of the things you don’t.
When you feel good about yourself, and you radiate high vibrational energy, you begin to attract into your life the people, opportunities and events that you want. And there's no better way to begin feeling good about yourself than through your own self-confidence.
With self-confidence in your back pocket, you are empowered to go after any goal and succeed 24/7.
So let me know, which law of attraction ritual resonates with you the most, and are you willing to give it a try?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Shari Mitchell is a Personal Development, Wellness and Lifestyle Blogger (and certified Image Branding & Lifestyle Design Coach) who helps busy, ambitious, goal-oriented women accomplish their big hairy scary goals as quickly, enjoyably, productively and elegantly as possible…all without losing sight of or sacrificing the things and people that matter most (especially themselves). With her, women enjoy better life balance, STILL show up as world-class women living life on their own terms, get what they want out of life, and WIN. Click here to learn more…
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