“It’s just so hard for me to make time for myself. I always end up feeling guilty for wanting to put myself before my kids, family, friends, career, and other commitments. I don’t know what to do about it!”
Can you relate?
As someone who is attached at the hip to her daily planner, and still a work in progress when it comes to rejecting “hustle culture”, I find myself always striving to do it all, have it all, and be it all.
There is rarely a moment where I willingly and unapologetically give myself permission to just exist…to just be…free from productivity, organization, time management, perfectionism, discipline, consistency, stress, success, sleepless nights, and every other buzzword that has to do with optimal human performance.
If you’re here with me, I bet you’ve felt this way too.
In fact, it’s common for ambitious, intelligent, goal-oriented women to feel this way.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of your everyday life – juggling work, daily chores, side hustles, caring for the kids, being present and available for family, social activities, and a seemingly never-ending list of responsibilities.
But as I’m beginning to discover, this focus on human performance comes at a cost babe.
Not only do you lose sight of yourself in the journey of your day to day life, but somewhere along the way, you begin to ignore the warning signs from your body (i.e. fatigue, irritability, headaches, weight loss, weight gain, illness, unclear thinking etc.), and feel so much guilt and shame for wanting to just “take a break”.
Western society has glamourised “hustle culture”, constantly “doing doing doing”, and the importance of living a “successful” life / keeping up with the joneses so much that it can feel selfish and wrong to turn some focus back onto yourself, and prioritize your own mindful self-care.
But as we enter into a brand new year, a clean canvas free of mishaps and mistakes, it is of paramount importance that you re-frame your limiting beliefs around self-care, abandon this cultural habit of ‘hustle’, and (FINALLY) take a bit more care of yourself, so that you can live a more balanced, centered, and heartfelt life.
The truth is, you cannot show up in the world and give the best of yourself from a glass that is half-full or almost empty. Functioning and thriving optimally every day requires a serious amount of energy, alertness, strength and patience – absolute MUSTS for dealing with the highs, lows and unexpected occurrences of the day.
The best way forward? MINDFUL SELF-CARE *shouts from the mountaintops*
If you know that it’s time to make self-care a priority but don’t know how to get started, keep reading below to find the 17 simple, straightforward, and sustainable ways you can make self-care a priority in 2022 and beyond – WITHOUT spending too much of your hard-earned coins.
The first stop is to make sure you grab your free Hygge Emergency Self-Care Kit below to help you find out the easiest way EVER to prioritize self-care into your daily life, even with a packed schedule. If you’re a busy, ambitious, go-getter, perfectionist, then you’re going to need this!
Keep in mind, this list is inexhaustive. Self-care can be anything and everything you wish it to be. It’s completely unique to you, and there are no rules to follow.
So, be sure to add your own self-care tips in the comments to help others who may also be needing help with this.
Ready to start 2022 off on the right foot by being kinder, gentler and more compassionate to yourself?
Good!
Let’s kick Superwoman Syndrome to the curb.
If after you’ve read this article you feel you learned something new today, feel free to buy me a coffee for the added fuel, energy, research and resources required to keep writing and improving these posts that aim to help you continue to live your most authentic, optimal life.
Let’s get started shall we…
Psst..I want to let you know that some of these links are affiliate links. I partner with awesome companies that offer products which help beautiful readers like you achieve their goals! So, if you purchase through any partner links, IHW could earn a small commission at no cost to you! Obviously I only refer partner products that I have used, am passionate about and/or believe in so that I can add maximum value to you! But no pressure to use them, feel free to do your own research! Thank you again for being here!
1. Making Self-Care a Priority Begins With Your Mind
Here’s the deal, before you even begin to think about the bells and whistles of your self-care routine, it’s extremely important for you to get a grip on what self-care is and is not.
This is a super DUPER important first step for you to do.
Why? Well who’s to say you even feel worthy and deserving of taking a good ole break in the first place!
Keeping in mind this self-care truth can help calm your guilt for not doing all of the things that you think you ought to be doing, reduce your limiting beliefs around making self-care a priority, and avoid your potential self-sabotage / self-abandonment in the future.
The #1 thing for you to always recognize and remember is that self-care is NOT selfish.
Think about it…
The word “selfish” implies that in your own mind, you believe that the world revolves around you, and the only person you care about is yourself. However, the word “self-care” instead acknowledges that the world actually includes you, and that as a functioning member of your society you also deserve to be cared about – if not by others, by yourself.
According to Forbes Magazine, “Self-care is not selfish, but a necessary lifestyle practice for good health. Self-care isn’t just something you do to recover from illness or crisis, but is also preventive and proactive. It’s a way to value and love yourself, but also demonstrate to others that you care to show up at your best for them, personally and professionally. Consistent self-care practice is what sustains our energy and motivation to keep moving through life successfully, and it is a tool of resilience to help us through the hard times.”
So clearly, shifting your mindset to believe that giving yourself the attention, compassion, time, energy and rest that you deserve is one of the most generous things you can do for not only yourself but your loved-ones, your colleagues, and for society at large.
Starting now will also put you on the right foot for implementing self-care practices into your daily life for 2022 and beyond – all without the guilt, shame or self-sabotage.
As the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”.
2. Ask Yourself: “What Gets in the Way of My Self-Care”?
Another great way to become more mindful about prioritizing your self-care is to ask yourself the question: “What gets in the way of my self-care in the first place?!”
What is it that’s taking priority over YOU right now?
Answering this one question will be the catalyst to help you figure out all of the other things that you prioritize over yourself on a continuous basis…perhaps to your detriment.
Take inventory of where your time, attention, energy, focus and resources go first on most days.
Make a list of all the places.
By coming up with a list of the activities, influences, commitments and overall energy-suckers that cause you to put yourself on the back-burner, you can then begin to establish a more suitable daily routine that works better for your lifestyle, figure out the specific areas of your life where boundaries need to be implemented, and areas where you need to delegate, automate, eliminate or simply shift around responsibilities – just so you can create more room in your life for you.
This is so important as a first step in your self-care journey because being over-extended, overbooked, overtired, and overwhelmed on a consistent basis means that your highest potential will only continue to sink deeper and deeper into the tunnel you’ve placed it in.
3. Ask Yourself What You Really Need in the Moment
Self-care looks different for everyone, and can vary depending on the specific moment in time.
So, you have to define what it means to you.
Feeling down? Exhausted? Fatigued? Irritable? In need of some space?
Get comfortable with pausing and asking yourself, “What do I really need in this moment to feel like my best self again?”
Maybe it’s some exercise? Spending more time with your family? Sitting quietly on the couch reading a book or watching your favourite movie? Going to catch up on some much overdue sleep?
Once you know the answer, it will be for your own good to make it a priority.
This way, you can nurse yourself back to optimal performance, and show up as the best version of yourself again.
Exploring your own identity and values during these times when you just feel ‘off’, will help you SO MUCH when it comes to prioritizing your well-being, and nurturing the best version of yourself – regardless of what’s going on in your life.
4. Don’t Skimp on Sleep
One of the easiest and (in my biased opinion) most enjoyable self-care practices you can prioritize is sleep.
We all know what we look and feel like the day after a sleepless night, or when we are basically in the red on our energy reserves, don’t we?
We look and feel stressed, sad, dull, gloomy, frustrated, irritable, and let’s not even start talking about our snarky attitudes.
Starting now, don’t let this be you!
Sleep recharges and rejuvenates every aspect of your body – from the molecular level to your energy balance, mood, concentration, alertness, memory, brain function, and even anti-aging.
Sleep rejuvenation is not something to skimp on babe!
So slip under your sheets and close those eyes for 7-9h.
Want to maximize the quality of your sleep?
Get yourself some amazingly soft bed linens and a weighted blanket, darken your room with thicker or darker curtains, drink a cup of camomile tea 30-60mins before bed, read a book instead of scrolling through your phone, invest in a Wake-Up Light Alarm Clock, get a white noise machine, and supplement with magnesium and melatonin approximately 30mins before you go to sleep.
Get the idea out of your head RIGHT NOW that you’re a robot and able to function at your best on low levels of sleep. No. Nope. No way!
Allow your body to rest, even if your best chance is sleeping in on the weekends.
Do it without feeling guilty.
I guarantee you will wake up feeling rested, recharged, rejuvenated and better equipped to handle the day or week ahead.
5. Put it on the Calendar
Raise your hand if you have the tendency to schedule all of the things that promote your self-care and well-being AFTER everything else is planned, organized and in place!?
Okay I see you! …And you! …And you!
I ask only because this is what I do too 😢
Instead of prioritizing that hour of physical activity, catching up on some sleep or opening that book we’ve been meaning to read, us gals push everything else to the surface, and stuff those self-care practices in a mental drawer somewhere, to be dealt with later.
But not in 2022 baby!
In 2022 and beyond, make it your business to prioritize self-care by literally putting it on your calendar. The exercise…the rest…the meal planning…the events and outings with friends…the medical appointments…the therapy sessions…ALL OF IT!
This is especially helpful if you’re planner-obsessed and love checking things off your to-do list, like me.
By proactively scheduling self-care into your daily list of to-dos, even if it’s just for 10mins a day, you are basically telling yourself that you too are important – just as important as everything else you ought to do.
See these commitments as non-negotiable self-care appointments with yourself, and tell people about them. As you show others that you respect and honour your commitments through your actions, you will find that they will too.
And it’s funny…once you actually begin to schedule in self-care as an important priority, and get your life back into a healthy balancing act between self-care and self-actualization, you will suddenly find yourself naturally making more and more conscious choices that align perfectly with your goals, dreams and values.
At this point, all I can hear are the sounds of you #winning.
Check out this beautiful, feminine, undated planner here to get you started.
6. Plan a Weekly Capsule Menu & Meal Prep at the Start of the Week
When you’re busy running around with a million things to get done before the end of the day, or you feel highly stressed and in need of comfort, one of the very first things that get pushed out of the door is your diet.
I’ve fallen victim to this sooooo many times!
Whenever I feel stressed, and have no meals planned for the week, I eat SO MUCH crap…and worse yet, late night snacking is my guilty pleasure. Cakes, cookies, chips and biscuits provide me with much-needed comfort during stressful times if I’ve planned my life poorly.
In the moment, of course I have ZERO regrets; however, a week or two later when I’ve realized that I’ve added another 2lbs to the scale, I feel bloated, my eczema has flared up, or I’ve suddenly broken out all over my face, all I can do is ask myself, “Whhhyyyy did I do that when I knew better?”
If not planned in advance, I really do not take good care of myself during bouts of stress.
I’ve learned that the ONLY way to be mindful of my self-care, especially when I feel overwhelmed, is to plan and prep my meals in advance.
I am by no means perfect, but when I practice this regularly, it makes SUCH a difference in my life.
This looks like creating a capsule menu for the week to help me decide what I’d like to eat for the upcoming week that will not only make me feel good about myself, but will provide me with the energy and nutrition needed to tackle a busy week.
Once I’ve got my creative juices flowing on the food I’d prefer to consume that week, I don’t stop there. I get my butt to the grocery store to buy my ingredients, and then I get my butt to the kitchen so that I can actually make my meals and store them in the fridge.
THIS WORKS WONDERS!!
If it’s one thing I’ve discovered, being mindful of your diet is not for the lazy my friend. But the benefits of prioritizing your self-care in terms of your nutrition far outweigh the annoyances.
By planning my meals, and then prepping them, I literally don’t have to think about what to eat anymore. It becomes a grab-and-go type of situation.
I’ve taken all of the guesswork out of what I’m going to eat that entire week, I have the confidence that my meals won’t negatively affect my emotions or my health, and I am fueling my body with the vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and nutrition required to help me function in society as my best, most energetic self, able to tackle whatever comes my way.
Who wouldn’t want that?!
Babe, if you know that your diet and nutrition suck right now and you want to do better moving forward, consciously making the time to plan and prep your meals in advance will help you take better care of your body, fuel your mind, and create space in your life for other things that matter – all without dropping the ball on your self-care.
Don’t be lazy and sluggish with your body, and it won’t be lazy and sluggish with you.
7. Exercise at Home
Yes, I could have just said “incorporate exercise into your daily routine” and left it at that, but I figured, let me be more specific here.
Incorporate exercise AT HOME into your daily routine.
Why?
Well…I firmly believe that if you truly want to prioritize self-care as a mindful practice it has to be simple and sustainable.
Furthermore, if it’s one thing the 2020 pandemic taught me was that working out at home to pass the time was fabulous, and suited me best!
For me, having to walk, bike, drive or take public transportation just to get to the gym or other fitness facility just depletes my energy, is a waste of money (hello premium membership monthly fees!), and is a waste of precious time that I could have been using to have already worked up a sweat in the comfort of my home.
This is especially true if you’re trying to squeeze a workout in before work in the morning, or worse yet in the afternoon after work when your energy is already depleted from a long day outside of the home.
What’s more, having the gyms closed for a considerable amount of time during lockdown, where so many people had to get creative with their work-outs, made me feel so grateful that I’ve already established a way to work out at home.
Of course, I’m not saying that this is a must for everyone – some people thrive better in community environments, or need the help and support of a personal trainer or a team – BUT, if you’re looking for a simpler, more sustainable way to make your physical self-care a more mindful practice I highly recommend establishing a work out routine at home.
- You…save time (the time you would have spent getting to your fitness facility and back home)
- Save money (goodbye membership fees and gas/transportation money!)
- Still burn calories
- Experience greater focus and determination, free from external distractions or using the gym as a spot to socialize
- Can workout anytime that you want regardless of the weather and the time.
- Don’t have to worry about over-crowding or other fitness enthusiasts hogging the equipment.
- Still have the potential to hit your fitness goals – sometimes faster than if you were exercising outside of the home.
Again – this is not for the lazy or sluggish! I know sometimes we can feel so comfy and cozy at home that we don’t ever feel like doing anything that exerts too much energy, and changing into workout clothes alone feels like a chore.
Totally understandable! I’ve been there! But if I allowed my mind to rule my body back in 2020 with these types of thoughts, I’d have never been able to lose 20lbs within the comfort of my own home.
So trust me when I say that establishing an exercise routine at home is a simple, sustainable, mindful way to prioritize your physical self-care on a daily basis.
Your regime may look different to mine, but I fell in love with the workout videos of certain fitness influencers on YouTube, became best-friends with the treadmill and torched my fat with jump-rope.
Simple. Sustainable.
My fave YouTube fitness influencers to help me get active and torch calories are:
- Chloe Ting (full body toning)
- Grow with Jo (awesome walking workouts)
- Clau & Paty (cardio dance + cardio kickboxing)
- Jump Rope Dudes (jump-rope workouts)
- Tae Bo (old school cardio kickboxing)
- PopSugar Fitness (wide variety of workouts)
With a simple, sustainable at-home fitness routine you get all the awesome benefits of boosting your endorphins, becoming more present and aware of your body, challenging yourself, clearing your head, releasing stress and tension, improving the quality of your sleep, quieting the busy-ness and worry of your mind, stabilizing and elevating your mood, skyrocketing your self-confidence, promoting success, and exploding your self-esteem.
All of this awesome goodness will help you show up in your life as your most optimal self.
So, find a form of exercise that you love and enjoy doing, or that you’re curious about, and get started taking better care of your body, mind and soul, all from the comfort of your abode.
Here’s the bare minimum of what you might need to get your own unique home gym up and running: treadmill, exercise bike, elliptical, row machine, fitbit, water bottle, skipping rope, yoga mat, free weights, stability ball, and booty resistance bands.
Stand by for all those compliments on how good you look 😉
8. Keep a List of Activities You Enjoy & Return to Your Hobbies Regularly
Another great way to prioritize holistic self-care as a mindful practice is to keep a running list of all the hobbies and activities you enjoy.
It’s one thing to keep your most cherished hobbies and activities in the back of your mind, covered in cobwebs, and quite another to get it all down on paper so it is always top of mind and easily accessible.
It does not matter where you keep this list. It can be the Notes app on your phone, your daily planner, a Google Doc or a literal sheet of paper.
What matters most is that you keep it in a place that is easily visible / easily accessible to you e.g on your bathroom mirror, your screensaver on your phone or laptop, the first page of your planner or in an app you go into every day.
- So what is it that you love to do?
- What have you not done in a while and miss doing?
- Any activities and hobbies that support your holistic well-being of mind, body and soul?
- What makes you feel peaceful when you’re stressed?
- How do you feel restored, rejuvenated and joyful?
- What did you love doing as a kid?
The first step is to pour your heart out on all the things you enjoy and miss doing more of – for example, dancing, yoga, sewing, knitting, drawing, painting, photography, content creation, walks in nature, massages, facials, reading, mani-pedis, weekend getaways, a night at the opera, meditation, cooking, colouring, taking baths, calling a friend, listening to an empowering podcast, sleep, movie-watching, therapy, etc.
Self-care looks different for everyone.
Whatever you love to do, put it on this list, and keep it in sight regularly.
This way, you never run out of ideas on what to do to pamper yourself, or waste time trying to brainstorm a self-care practice that you will actually enjoy.
Once in sight, you’re better able to make mindful choices on how to incorporate the things you love to do into your week, at a moment’s notice, or when boredom kicks in and you want to change things up, despite the hustle and bustle.
How to incorporate it you might ask? Well there’s so many ways; but here are a few noteworthy mentions:
- At the start of every month or week, schedule at least one experience per week to look forward to, and commit to it
- At the start of the week, dedicate one afternoon, morning or entire day a week to be all yours to do as you wish, and pull from this list
- Mark the end of every work-week with a regular ritual of relaxation & reward
- At the end of a hard and challenging day, choose at least one self-care ritual to enjoy that will help you unwind and feel better about yourself.
- Explore your list and delve into your hobbies with someone else e.g. your kids, partner, friends or social group, and turn this experimentation into a self-care tradition that you share with others.
Intentionally finding room for your passions will completely transform your life – you will make new friends, learn new skills, find greater peace, balance and contentment, be able to include and get closer to your loved-ones, boost your confidence, positively influence the way you show up in the world, and SO MUCH MORE!
List what you’re passionate about, and then pursue it.
9. Incorporate Self-Care into your Nighttime Routine
The start of a day actually begins the night before.
First, take off your stuffy, restrictive clothes of the day, and slip into something more comfortable and cozy like this bathrobe. Donning a warm, inviting bathrobe after a long day helps your body relax and de-stress from the day’s events.
Next, to settle into the end of your day, relax your senses with aromatherapy. Why not cultivate a warm, welcoming, cozy atmosphere at home with an essential oil aromatherapy diffuser. Use traditionally soothing, uplifting, wonderful smells such as lavender, citrus, jasmine and eucalyptus. This can help transition you into sleep mode as you begin to wind down for the day, relax your senses and calm your nerves.
Want to add some spice to your routine? Mix and match your fave essential oils to create new scents.
A great accompaniment to your aromatic atmosphere is the addition of calming music. What type of music do you love to chill to? Jazz? Classical? Chillhop? Pop? Hip Hop? Whatever it is, make sure it suits the mood you’re going for.
This time of optimal comfort is the perfect time to begin planning for your next day. Pick out your outfit for the next day – and make sure it makes you feel super confident. Pack your lunch. Sit down and plan your goals for the next day in your daily planner. Complete your journaling for the day.
Trust me, a self-care night routine like this will make you feel like you’re 100% on top of your life. You’ll feel so good about yourself as you drift off to sleep; and when you wake up, you’ll feel like a Queen!
Other self-care practices that you can mindfully incorporate into your bedtime routine are prayer, meditation, reading, stretching, having a warm bubble bath, and skin pampering.
Just come up with a list of activities you can enjoy before bed, and make your routine unique to you.
Regardless of what your nighttime routine looks like, implementing simple self-care practices into your nightly routine such as these will 1000% help you relax and unwind, sleep more soundly, and enhance your mood and productivity for the next day.
10. Practice Self-Care with Someone Else
When you first think about self-care, you think that it’s something you have to do by yourself. However, you’ll be pleased to know that this isn’t always the case. You don’t have to create mindful self-care practices that you feel you must execute alone. If you want to, include somebody!
Sometimes, just being in the presence of someone else whilst doing something that you love, is self-care in and of itself.
So how can you include others in your self-care practices?
- Are you a part of self-care groups on Facebook?
- Who can you turn to for accountability?
- Do you feel distant from and would like to bring them closer?
- Would you like to know someone better, form a new friendship, or add a new person to your social and professional network?
Invite them to partake in all the yummy, self-care goodness you are prioritizing in your life!
Involving others in your self-care routines boosts intimacy and camaraderie, creates memories, brings you closer to your loved ones, creates space for vulnerability, openness and sharing, and greatly enhances your communication skills.
So don’t be afraid to include others in your self-care rituals from time to time.
READ MORE: Top 7 Badass Takeaways For Women From The Captivating “You Are a Badass”: A Book Review
11. Say ‘No’ / Establish Boundaries
It would be wrong of me to talk all about the ways in which we must be mindful about saying ‘yes’ to self-care without also stating that we must be mindful about saying ‘no’ to other things in order to even make room for that self-care.
How many times have you heard yourself say, “yea”, “sure”, or “no problem” to a request, only to have your heart sink to the pit of your stomach and instantly regret your enthusiastic response?!
Or, how many times have you committed your time, energy and resources to a project you had little desire to be a part of?
Most often, stress, overwhelm, fatigue, irritability, resentment, mood swings and other negative emotions are the result of having too much to do, and little time to do it – especially when it’s things we wish we didn’t have to do in the first place.
As such, you must develop the mindful self-care practice of establishing healthy boundaries around yourself, and learning to say ‘no’ more often to the people, places and things that don’t serve you.
It’s so easy to lose yourself in the “go go go” hustle and “people pleasing” mentality, but when you decide to slow down and stop trying to keep up with others or please everyone, you reclaim so much of your strength, peace and happiness.
This includes finding a way to reduce your workload, minimizing your unnecessary or unhealthy social activities, and managing your time more effectively.
I know this is a big step, because it might require you to have possibly difficult conversations with your partner, your kids, your friends, your colleagues, or your boss. But they care about you and they need you; so you have to help them see that sometimes, to be there for them, you’ve got to be there for yourself first.
I hate to break it to you, but you can’t always neglect your own needs to fulfill everyone else’s, and not expect that to take a toll on your well-being. It’s virtually impossible to be available to everyone around you at all times, even if the people-pleaser in you wants to.
So you have to do what you have to do babe; sorry.
Have a hard time saying no? That’s perfectly fine! Learning to say no truly is a skill.
Find a list of ways you can do so politely right here.
12. Create Non-Negotiable Rules
Now that you’ve decided who and what to say ‘no’ to, a great next step is to create some non-negotiable rules to help hold you accountable on your mindful self-care journey, and ensure that you don’t increasingly backslide into self-neglect.
Similar to your running list of enjoyable activities and hobbies, here you make a short list of simple, sustainable things that you should do, could do and would do on a daily, weekly, monthly or seasonal basis if you gave yourself the permission to.
Once this list is made, the key is to stick to it.
Unlike your list of hobbies and activities that you turn to for inspiration at anytime, however, this list of non-negotiable rules should have time slots attached, where you can consciously and intentionally allocate time to be present and available for YOU.
Some non-negotiable rituals you can add to your list can include:
- Have a healthy, nutritious breakfast every morning before heading off to work
- Unwind with an interesting novel before bed 3 nights a week
- Read an empowering book for 20 minutes at lunch
- Take a walk after dinner on the weekends
- Spend time journaling in the morning before work
- Put phone on silent mode and leave in the next room during dinner or quality time with the family
- Work out for at least 1 hour, 5 days a week
- Play games with the family after dinner on weeknights
By creating non-negotiable rituals like these, planning them into your life, and actually committing to them, you will naturally prioritize yourself each and every day in small, simple, doable, fun ways.
To avoid overwhelm, start with just one non-negotiable ritual that you’d love to prioritize right now. Then gradually, you can add and remove non-negotiables in the best ways that suit your current life and lifestyle.
13. Start Each Day on the Best Foot with a Prayer and/or Meditation
On a perfect day, the one thing I ABSOLUTELY must do before I start my morning is to complete my mindful morning manifestation routine. If you wish to know what this routine is all about, you can watch this free masterclass I created that talks about what’s involved.
Within this morning routine, it starts off with meditation or prayer. Most days I just choose one, but if I have the time I do both, starting with meditation to first quiet my mind and get present in the moment.
Whether you do one, the other, or both, I swear to you that this mindful practice will start your day off on the absolute best foot.
Regular meditation has an uncanny way of just calming you down, making you feel balanced, and establishing inner well-being. As you focus on your breath and try to clear your mind of all passing thoughts, you disconnect from the world, the tension in your body lessens, your stress is reduced, the chaos in your mind is reduced, you’re better able to think clearly, solutions to your problems, epiphanies and ‘aha’ moments come quicker, and so much more.
The same goes with prayer. Through prayer, I’m able to offload my cares and worries of the day, ask for divine help, connect with God, and spiritually be prepared to handle my day and whatever it brings without having a meltdown or anxiety attack.
Praying or meditating don’t have to be hour long marathons as well. No ma’am! 10-15 minute sprints are ideal, especially if you’re someone who’s constantly on the go.
In my experience, prayer and meditation keep me holistically strong, calm, alert, wise, and able to handle the hardships and difficulties of life with a clear, strong, problem-solving mind.
I firmly believe that they can do the same for you too.
14. Start Small and Layer On
The biggest excuse I ALWAYS hear when it comes to not prioritizing self-care is “I don’t have the time!”
Does this sound like you? Be honest…
For me, this is a false truth…a limiting belief!
If you keep telling yourself that you have zero time to take care of your body, mind or spirit, and you actually believe that it’s true, then of course you’re not going to do what it takes to nurture yourself as you should.
But the truth is that you do have the time.
All you have to do is start small, and then layer on.
Start with one tiny self-care action, and once you’re ready, build from there.
This can be as simple and sustainable as opening your blinds first thing in the morning to let some light in, carrying around a water bottle so it’s easier to drink more water, exercising for 15 mins, doing your nails, planning a cute outfit for the next day, cuddling a loved-one or a pet, giving yourself a hug, or deep breathing for 5 minutes.
I’m sure you have time in your day for mindful activities like this?
Practicing mindful self-care does not have to be a time-consuming hour-long or full-day event if you don’t want it to be, or if it’s literally impossible to do so right now.
Instead, small, incremental self-care acts like those above are just enough to get you into the habit of physically practicing self-love; and these activities compound on themselves over time as well – bringing you immediate and long-lasting benefits in your daily life.
Don’t be surprised if you end up craving the implementation of more and more healthy self-care practices because you just love it so much.
Whatever your schedule allows, find 15mins in your day to give yourself some love.
15. Be Kind + Speak Kindly to Yourself with Affirmations
The way you treat and talk to yourself matters!
How many times have you caught yourself saying something negative about yourself?
For me, it’s been many. Too many to count.
When I was younger, I thought myself fat, ugly, unattractive, and so much more.
Girl drama and bullying at school also didn’t help my self-perception.
This negative mindset toward myself carried on for literal YEARS!
It wasn’t until I discovered the beauty and power of affirmations through the self-development and law of attraction genius, Louise Hay, in my latter 20s that my entire outlook changed!
What I discovered is that the way people see us is a reflection of the way we see ourselves, and my negative self-talk did me no favours when it came to attracting positive energy into my life.
It wasn’t until I changed my self-talk and began calling myself strong, beautiful, attractive, and perfectly made that I began to show up more confidently in the world, and attract better life experiences.
So, if you’re anything like me and find it easy to speak negatively about yourself, put yourself down or pick yourself apart, put a stop to the self-criticism and self-doubt by using positive affirmations to speak kindly to yourself.
Start by flipping every negative thing you say about yourself on its head, and turn each one into a positive statement instead.
Read here for other positive affirmations you can incorporate into your daily life.
Louise Hay also has great resources on positive affirmations such as this book and this card deck.
The wonderful thing about affirmations is that they can be said anywhere, any time, any place. Therefore, they are extremely easy to implement in your daily life.
Write some affirmations on a post-it note and stick it on your bathroom mirror; speak positive affirmations over yourself in front of your mirror before you leave the house…during your ride to work…during your morning breakfast…or during your night routine before bed.
When it comes to giving yourself some verbal self-love and self-compassion, the options are endless.
Get on your own team.
Show yourself the highest degree of kindness and compassion.
On a daily basis, treat and talk to yourself as you would your best friend on her worst day.
16. Simplify Your Day
I don’t know why we ladies do this, but for some reason we tend to think we’re more like Superwoman than mere mortals, constantly biting off more than we can chew.
We fill our days with more tasks and responsibilities than we can handle, and get down on ourselves when we can’t do it all.
This is also another reason why we feel guilty for prioritizing self-care and putting ourselves first – we think, why do we even deserve self-care when we can’t get all of our other ‘important’ things done to begin with?!
The key, however, is not to get things done on your own. It’s to do everything within your power to simplify your day.
To begin, don’t plan too many tasks, commitments and responsibilities in a single day. Packing too much within one day only leads to frustration, stress, and you running around like a headless chicken. Sooo not self-care!
Instead you need to look at your calendar or planner, simplify your focus on the most important commitments, and prioritize the most urgent first.
The rest? See what you can delegate, automate, postpone or delete altogether so that more of your time is freed.
Another great way to simplify your day is to simply ask for help. Love, you don’t have to be the one to carry the entire world on your shoulders. You don’t have to be the one to take care of everything. You don’t need to constantly put everyone else first. Things will not collapse without you in the driver’s seat.
Release that self-sabotaging fear and reach out to those around you. Learn to be okay with someone else doing “your job”…even and especially if it’s done imperfectly, or at least not the way you would have done it. You will immediately notice a sense of calm come over you when you release this burden and create more space in your life for you. Heck, even Superwoman had help saving the world!
Lastly, another beneficial way of simplifying you day is decluttering and detoxing from your social media. First, unfollow brands, influencers, groups, pages, and other accounts that make you feel bad about yourself or your life. Then, follow accounts that promote positivity, inspiration, motivation, nourish your mind, and help you become a better person.
Also, detox from all screens with a technology curfew. After a certain time, perhaps at 8.30pm, the television, phone, tablet and laptop all get turned off and stored away so that you can get present, enjoy the moments of solitude you’ve set aside for yourself, bond with loved ones, and prepare to unwind before bed.
This is precious quality time with yourself before the start of a new day – don’t squander it.
17. Don’t Let Self-Care Turn into Another Stressor
Lastly, self-care should not be something you need to force yourself to do. Whatever you do, don’t make it feel like a chore or another goal you need to accomplish.
It should be FUN!
This is your me-time to gain some perspective and take a break from the pressures of life, not add more!
For example, if you planned to journal for 10 minutes every morning for a whole month, but you missed one morning, don’t feel bad or guilty.
Self-care is about listening to your body to see what you need, not ticking off your to-do list. Maybe that morning you really needed those extra 10 minutes to just lie in before your day got started. Nothing wrong with that! That’s a form of self-care too.
Or maybe you have something scheduled, such as a colleague’s birthday party, but you are too tired to even have a shower and get dressed, tell your colleaguethat you can’t make it but you’ll make it up to them soon— then go to bed!
You are worthy and deserving of prioritizing your rest above your responsibilities. Saying “no” is 1000% self-care.
Don’t allow mindful self-care to turn into something you “have to” or “should” do!
Simply go with the flow of your body – it will tell you what it needs from you.
At the End of the Day…
I hope that you see the one thing self-care is NOT, is selfish. It’s anything but.
In fact, I hope you’ve discovered and made peace with the fact that when you are at your busiest and most overwhelmed, that is when caring for yourself should be most important.
You can only expend physical and emotional energy up to a certain point before your energy reserves get depleted.
When your energy reserves boil all the way down to the negative, the consequences are dire: stress, fatigue, exhaustion, overwhelm, self-sabotage, poor health and well-being, resentment, imbalance etc.
The ripple effect of these consequences is that they don’t only further reduce your efficiency, productivity, and energy management, but they can also influence how you show up in the world with your loved-ones, colleagues, yourselves, and even society at large.
Poor self-care makes it more difficult for you to pour life into your children, partner, friendhips, work, community, and the world.
Plus, the unfortunate truth is that for most women, if we don’t take better care of ourselves, no one else will.
As such, prioritizing your own physical and emotional well-being is truly one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself and those around you.
You were designed to thrive in life, and live abundantly boo.
I know…I know…it’s not always easy to do so. But making mindful self-care practices a part of your identity can certainly change your life and give you the much-needed energy required to show up at optimal levels for whatever and whoever matters most to you.
It all boils down to organizing, scheduling, planning and protecting your self-care as best as you possibly can.
Over time, you can easily and intentionally make self-care a lifestyle, instead of a once-a-year-trip-to-the-spa type of thing.
Once you develop these healthy self-care practices, I bet you’ll be so happy that you did, you’ll wonder why you didn’t give self-care a try a lot sooner.
So, moving forward, do yourself a favour and take the time you need to do the things that are important to you; because YOU MATTER.
How do you incorporate mindful self-care practices into your daily life? Any tips?
Don’t forget, if you were inspired, or learned something new today, I warmly invite you to buy me a coffee to show your solidarity and support for the IHW mission!
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