Isn’t it funny that when growing up, parents instill a consistent night time routine for their children, to get those tiny balls of energy to wind down before bed, but as adults we neglect doing the same things for ourselves?
Bath time. Pajama time. Story time. Sigh…being a kid is so fun! Night time routines for children can entail so many positive habits that set them up for deep rest and success the next day.
However, as adulthood sets in, especially once you leave home, so many of the “routines” in your life become mediocre, unromantic habits – formed and performed unconsciously and unceremoniously over time.
That was me for sure. I had ZERO structure. ZERO routine. ZERO focus.
In the past, lacking self-awareness, I just did what I saw around me. I was the sum total of my environment! Come home → change into loungewear → turn on television → eat → scroll social media to catch up with content and friends → mayybeeee read a few pages from a book → wash face to fend off those annoying overnight acne bumps → lights out.
It honestly wasn’t until 2020; the year I turned 30 and the year the entire world shut down, that I finally had the life crisis necessary to just stop, look at my life, and completely transform all the things that I didn’t like about myself and the reality I existed in.
One of those things was my nightly routine.
I wanted to end my day similarly to the way I tried to start it – with purpose and intention.
From 2020 till now, my night routine has certainly evolved, as I’ve grown and learned even more about myself and what matters most to me.
For me, it’s the perfect balance between pause and productivity.
But PLEASE NOTE, this post is meant to encourage and inspire.
If your night routine looks nothing like mine, or you have no routine at all – that’s okay!
You reading this means that you are ready or at least curious about raising your night time standards, so I’m here to help you do just that by providing you with some luxe, next-level, bedtime routine ideas that just might work perfectly for you and your environment.
This excites me so much because intentionally creating wellness routines and rituals that aim to help you unwind, decrease your stress, clear your mind, and figuratively shed the dead skin of your day (particularly before bed), will do NOTHING BUT GOOD for making the most of your deep rest; allowing you to wake up the next day to a fantastic, structured morning.
Whether you’ve stumbled across this post due to sheer curiosity but never given much thought to what you do before bed, or you want to completely overhaul your entire bedtime routine, here’s my mindful yet productive night routine to inspire you to achieve that calming end to a busy day…
Oh Wait! No time to read the post right now?
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…still with me? Yay! Well, keep reading…it’s time to steal my nighttime routine rituals…
Step 1: Disconnect
Now, full disclosure: as someone who does not have a corporate institution to enter 5 mornings per week, I do not allocate a set bedtime for myself. I feel so much resistance when it comes to giving myself a set time to turn off the lights, simply because, I am a night owl. I do my best work at night when the world is quiet.
However, whilst I may be awake late into the night, one thing I certainly am is disconnected.
I stop responding to chats. I stop scrolling social media. I stop watching mindless television. I stop allowing my consciousness to be disturbed by the demands of others. I just stop.
I enter the safe sanctuary of my room, and perhaps for the first time in that entire day I turn my focus inward, instead of outward.
In this moment, it’s all about me. I am That Girl. I am the Main Character of my reality.
This is my time to mellow out, feed my spirit, pour into myself and fill my own damn cup.
Step 2: Prepare outfits and essentials for the next day
Over the years, as I’ve learned more and more about feminine energy, soft living, and living luxury on a budget, I’ve adopted the belief that showing up in the world as immaculately as possible, is of grave importance.
I don’t care what anyone says; your appearance 100% affects the way you are treated by others.
As such, depending on what I have to do the next day, preparing my outfits and essentials in advance is my automatic next step.
I open the doors to my closet, brainstorm the best style combination possible (Pinterest is great for this) and then lay out my finds for the following morning.
In addition to this, I gather all my go-to essentials for the next day and keep them in one spot – which most times is my trusty purse or handbag – wallet, keys, lip gloss, makeup touch-ups, water bottle, perfume roller, sunglasses.
Let me tell ya, not only does this make me feel like I have at least one aspect of my life figured out, it boosts my mood and confidence because I begin fantasizing about how put together and relaxed I’m going to look the next day hehe…
Not to mention, when I wake up in the morning, I have less stress because I have one less thing to think about.
Setting aside 15-30 minutes to prepare my things, shop my closet and brainstorm my immaculate outfits for the next day helps me save so much time the next day because I’m not frantic about what to wear or carry at a short moment’s notice.
There is nothing more annoying and time consuming than having to make extra stops or turn around and head back home because something was forgotten in the haste of the morning.
In this respect, my morning becomes more of a “grab and go” situation, which brings so much peace of mind…you wouldn’t believe!
Step 3: Prep schedule for the next day
The next thing I absolutely cannot rest without doing is preparing my schedule for the next day.
I simply cannot function effectively without a plan. Blame my Type A brain!
To do this, I go to my daily to-do list, housed in Evernote (the best notes app ever!), review what I’ve been able to accomplish during the day, and move forward any outstanding tasks to a new day. I also double check or update my schedule list for upcoming appointments, meetings and social outings.
I used to be a physical calendar girlie, but now I make full use of these digital calendar and scheduling apps, just for ease and efficiency. Do what feels good for you.
Once I have an idea of what needs to get done, and I can see the tasks with both eyes, it is then easier for me to plan the order in which I’ll be accomplishing everything as efficiently and smartly as possible.
Again, I don’t complete ALL tasks on a daily basis (I wish!) but simply having that list keeps me on track and makes me feel like I’m in control of my tomorrow before it even begins.
There’s just something about crossing off a task that just does it for me. One of the best feelings in the world.
Trust me, better to run through some sort of physical list than a mental version.
One of life’s greatest disruptors of good, deep sleep is the habit of thinking of all the things you need to get done the next day and in the days to come, as you’re trying to fall asleep.
If this is you, Sweetie abeg…STOP IT!
It’s anxious thoughts like this that keep us up at night, tossing and turning, in the darkness, staring at the ceiling.
Release the anxiety.
Studies have shown that making a physical version of your to-do list relieves the cognitive impact of unfulfilled goals, results in greater productivity, and leaves you feeling calmer, happier and more efficient.
So, from big to small, personal to professional, I make a note of all that needs to get done, and day by day look at that list to see what needs to be chipped away.
“Call mom”. “Schedule dental appointment”. “Pay phone bill”. “Make dinner date reservation”. Whatever it is…writing it all down purges it all from consuming the real estate of your mind, and allows you to create mental space for other more purposeful, forward-moving thoughts, like execution and getting things done.
I am not perfectionist about my to-do list though. It is quite possible that I’ll wake up the following morning with a desire to change or switch around my tasks for the day. I give myself grace for that.
The point is the habit. As a planner for most of my life, I know all too well that this repeated habit of making a to-do list of daily priorities pays huge dividends in the long run.
Step 4: Light stretching
On my most disciplined days, I love full body stretching for 15-30mins before my day ends.
Trust me, stretching at the end of the day is the best tension reliever eveerrrr…
Perfect for muscle relaxation, and therefore enhanced sleep quality.
Usually, I roll out my yoga mat, turn on YouTube via my smart tv, and use this 10 Minute Evening Stretch for Beginners, this 15 Min. Full Body Stretch and this 10 Min. Stretch for Neck, Shoulder & Upper Back Pain Relief by Mady Morrison (my go-to girl) …. to relieve the tension in my body.
Sometimes I feel too lazy to complete this step, but when I do I’m always so happy that I didn’t give into my feelings. These 15-30mins are my opportunity to stretch my limbs, relax my muscles, bring movement to certain stiff parts of my body, calm my mind, unwind and focus on my breath.
Once I rise off the mat, my body feels looser, my mind feels grounded, and that sleepy feeling sweeps over me like a crisp wind.
I will advocate for this pre-bed practice always.
Step 5: Retainers routine
Lucky for me, I was a braces girlie as a teenager.
This means that from a very young age my orthodontist taught me the technique, value and importance of a proper dental routine.
I have carried this knowledge with me since then.
However, since my teen years, certain things have been added and removed to the basic routine I was taught.
Now, if I feel like it, I start with oil pulling. Here, I put a spoonful of coconut oil in my mouth and swish it around for approximately 20 minutes before spitting it out into the bin. To distract myself from the feeling, I may watch a YouTube video, listen to a short podcast, read a bit, or tidy up. Again, another practice I adopted in 2020, and I have to say, doing this consistently has not only whitened my teeth naturally and removed pesky stains, it has also made my gums a healthy pink, and kept my cavities at bay. If you can bring yourself to adopt this habit as well, you will begin to reap those same benefits in 30 days or less.
Next, I brush my teeth with flouride-free toothpaste, simply because it is a more natural, eco-friendly alternative to flouride toothpastes. My fave brand is the Arm & Hammer Essentials Whiten + Activated Charcoal.
Then, my natural teeth whitening practice consists of dipping my toothbrush into some more activated charcoal and brushing my teeth for about a minute. I leave the charcoal on my teeth for another minute, before rinsing out. I snip open these activated charcoal capsules for my natural whitening practice.
My current mouthwash is the Therabreath Icy Mint for 60 seconds.
And lastly, I slap in my bad boy retainers to keep my pearly whites perfectly straight.
This routine seems long, but my smile is important to me, so I take care of the teeth God has granted me to the best of my ability.
Step 6: Shower + skincare routine
Once my teeth are clean, it’s time to hit the showers baby!
For me, nothing screams bedtime like a late night shower after an active day.
Taking a warm one, 1-2 hours before I hit the lights, offers me the opportunity to not only cleanse my body, but to take my time, romanticize the process to my leisure, and reset my mind from the day.
During my showers, I sometimes revise my day with robotic affirmations; particularly if things did not go my way. I simply tell myself that they did. Make your delulu become trululu right? If you aren’t sure what I’m talking about, this video on revising your day, and on robotic affirmations, may help you understand me better.
Everyone’s shower routine is unique, however, so what I can say is that I try to keep the products I use as simple and natural as possible because I have super sensitive skin. Use the wrong item and my eczema flares up like nobody’s business!
So…
- Clarisonic
- African Black Soap face wash
- St. Ives Apricot Exfoliating Scrub
- Shower gloves
- Vitamin E body soap or Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint body wash
- (Sometimes) 5 drops of tea tree essential oil onto my soapy gloves for added healing benefits
- Intimate wash
- Cetaphil RESTORADERM soothing wash
As you can see, none of the items used are luxury or high end buuutttt by the time I step out of the showers, both my body and my mind still feel refreshed.
I feel so much better about my day too.
To prep my oily skin for the night, I opt for my witch hazel + tea tree oil toner combo, rose water facial spritz for calming the skin, bio oil for fading scars, and the ordinary lactic acid & niacinamide & zinc serums for keeping my skin clear, before applying my anti-aging cream and rosehip oil to my face, neck and chest.
If I’m not too tired or time allows, I will then bring my freezing cold jade roller and gua sha from the fridge up to my room, and complete my skincare routine with these tools to relax the muscles in my face as well.
As someone who has dealt with acne and blemishes most of my life, nourishing and healing my skin on a nightly basis is basically a non-negotiable.
Once I complete these, I 100% feel settled and ready for bed.
READ MORE: 71 AWESOME CONFIDENCE-BOOSTING AFFIRMATIONS TO SLAY YOUR EVERYDAY
Step 7: Night wear
So, at this point I’m super excited to just jump into my pajamas and get cozy.
Here, comfort is key!
How your sleepwear feels on your body is more important than how they look, honestly, because it also affects your sleep quality.
I physically cannot sleep in anything that feels too tight, thick, bulky, insulated, scratchy or coarse.
Once my sleepwear is comfortable, my bed becomes something I look forward to diving into.
Grandma gowns. Boyfriend Tees. Fancy PJ sets. All are welcome once they scream comfort.
What I’ve learned over time is that sleepwear made of natural fibers, such as linen or organic cotton are the type you should be purchasing. These materials are airy, breathable and also wick moisture, which allow you to maintain a cooler body temperature and prevent those night sweats.
Step 8: Sleep tea
My past life in the UK has completely made me a tea girlie.
I just love enjoying my hot cuppa before bed.
This is one simple pleasure that I cherish.
Pouring the hot water onto my tea bag in my favourite mug is in itself a simple, romantic ritual.
My go-tos are usually sugar-free and milk-free cups of herbal teas such as earl grey, black, turmeric, cinnamon, and chai.
Holding a warm mug filled with this goodness in the palm of both hands is just a nice way to mellow down and relax.
However, herbal tea isn’t the only warm drink you can enjoy before bed.
From warm milk to warm water…a warm drink an hour or so before bed is a whole vibe for calming the mind, winding down, and relaxing.
Step 9: Journal for an hour
With mug of tea within easy reach, it’s finally time to get warm and cozy under the covers.
It’s not time to sleep just yet though.
This isn’t a step that I complete daily, but, monthly? Most definitely.
I’m the kind of gal who overthinks and lives in my head a lot.
The idea of journaling by hand truly overwhelms me though. The mere thought of sitting at my desk with pen and paper, writing away about my thoughts, makes me feel to shut down. So much resistance!
When I became aware of this feeling, but still desired to document my thoughts somehow, I asked myself, how best can I document my life by a journal I don’t have to write in?
And this curiosity led me to Journify – an audio journal I am obsessed with, and exactly what I needed.
With this app, I simply speak my thoughts and feelings into the encrypted system, file the entry of the day under the relevant category, make a note of what was discussed, close the app, and move on with my life.
And if I ever want to turn my journals into an autobiography of my full life, all I have to do is turn each audio into a transcript.
Easy peasy!
I’m all for saving the trees, reducing waste and maintaining a minimalist space 🙂
Usually, when I am journaling, it’s because I’ve got something on my mind, something is weighing heavy on my spirit, I’m bothered or concerned by something, or I’ve achieved some sort of success that I don’t want to forget about.
This practice does wonders for helping me word vomit whatever is on my mind without the need to censor, edit or erase, sort out my destructive thoughts and feelings, and bring clarity on the best next steps I should take.
This way, I can sleep peacefully without a million thoughts racing through my mind.
It’s incredible how much better you sleep when you get those intrusive thoughts out of your head.
Overall, I’ve found that journaling is a great tool for promoting positive mental health by giving you a private forum for offloading the thoughts and emotions you have been carrying and putting on hold all day.
In this moment you are given the mic. This is your self care time to prioritize your own concerns, fears, struggles, difficulties, wins, and anything else in between. When done before bed, this practice helps you get into a better frame of mind for sleep, and boosts your overall emotional state before entering dreamland.
Tracking your journal entries also helps you identify what subjects are most prevalent in your life, the triggers you have, and make you more conscious and aware of working on them more efficiently.
I always say I’m gonna spend 15 minutes audio journaling, and before I know it 30 minutes have gone past and I’m not finished. So, if journaling is something you wish to get into, you may be surprised by how much you have to say, especially if you are just getting started with the idea of journaling.
READ MORE: THE TOP 10 BIGGEST MISTAKES THE AVERAGE WOMAN MAKES WHEN STRESSED
Step 10: Language for an hour
After purging my thoughts into my journal, I spend an hour educating myself on a new language in a simple, sustainable, non-overwhelming way.
Duolingo does that for me.
My chosen languages are Spanish, French and Portuguese. But the focus right now es mi espanol.
I most likely am not going to become a polyglot through this app, but it keeps my brain sharp, and helps me build a list of vocabulary in a different language that I have actually used in social settings.
Una caja por mi comida por favor, senorita? (A box for my meal please, miss?)
Go meeeee 🙂
Honestly, I much rather put my blue light glasses on to play language quiz games on my phone before bed instead of scrolling social media, watching Netflix, watching videos or chatting with friends.
It may sound like something that will keep my brain super active when I should be winding down, but it doesn’t. I can count many times I’ve actually slept away on myself in the middle of a quiz hehe.
Step 11: Calming music & a good book
By this time, my mug of tea is empty, but I still enjoy the practice of opening up a book and reading for a while until sleep finally overwhelms me.
During this me-time, I usually play the soft, soothing tunes of a French lounge cafe Spotify playlist for a pleasing background sound to enjoy in the stillness and silence of the room.
Then, I open up either my Kindle or a physical copy of my chosen book to engage my mind with interesting long-form content.
I could be getting lost in a romantic novel, or I could be learning more about myself and the world via a personal development, lifestyle or finance book – matters not. Both genres allow me to escape and to dream of brighter days.
That’s all this bookworm wants.
Step 12: Affirmation subliminals + SATS
Now, it’s finally time to feed my soul before sleep.
As a firm believer in the power of one’s words, thoughts and mindset, I aim to close my day (and my eyes) with a positive mind always.
To do this, I do a deep breathing guided meditation for approximately 10 minutes to calm my body and mind of all tension, and begin to tap into my subconscious mind.
As I melt into my sheets through a few rounds of breathing, I begin to visualize (create fun, enjoyable mental movies) of goals I wish to achieve.
For example, if I wanted a story pitch to be commissioned by one of my favourite publications, I would visualize or create a mental scene, as vividly as possible, of telling my mom the good news – my pitch got commissioned! The key is to tap into the feeling you would have if your dreams came true.
Once I’m feeling good about my future based on what I visualized, I turn on night sleep affirmations to play softly in the silence of my room whilst I sleep.
Dylan James has my favourite sleep subliminals; Limitless Manifestor is particularly a top choice; but there are so many you can find on YouTube based on what you want to manifest into your life, whether it be love, money, a new career, health, or a specific person.
You know how some say a great way to fall asleep quickly is to count sheep? Well I’ve taken that idea and made it my own by instead verbally speaking my positive affirmations into the atmosphere as I drift off.
Something as simple as repeating “I’m so grateful that God guides me; everything always works out in my favour” works wonders.
I don’t know what it is but there is something so meditative about that practice that I can barely profess 5 affirmations before I’m snoring. I just knock out! It’s incredible.
Then I wake up the next day feeling well-rested, accomplished and ready to tackle the day!
READ MORE: EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SETTING HIGHER STANDARDS FOR YOUR LIFE (AND LIVING UP TO THEM)
So What Do You Think?
Feeling inspired to create your own night routine blueprint? I sure hope so!
A night bedtime routine is the perfect ritual for unwinding from the day, calming your mind, releasing the stressors and tensions you’ve been carrying all day, and turning the focus back onto you and your own overall wellness.
It’s also one of the easiest, most effective ways to improve the quality of your sleep and achieve deep rest.
As a hard-working person, we both know how challenging that is, so these are moments to cherish.
As i shared at the beginning, this is MY bedtime blueprint. Ideally, I would tick all of these boxes every single night without fail, but I’m only human…that does not happen! Sometimes I’m too tired and lazy. Sometimes I’m away from home. Sometimes I don’t feel like doing it all. However, a night doesn’t go by where I don’t make the effort to focus on myself at some point, through this list.
If a night time routine is also of interest to you, you also have to make it something that you will genuinely look forward to at the end of a long day.
If you start out forcing yourself to commit to habits you don’t enjoy, you’ll never be consistent. Rather, you will dread the entire process as soon as it’s time to prepare for bed. So feel free to brainstorm and treat yourself to a routine that feeds your own unique requirements, details and preferences. This is the one you’ll be super excited to stick to.
Become intentional about your bedtime blueprint, and I bet you will benefit from better sleep, a stronger mind, and more functional mornings.
Who wouldn’t benefit from a little less crazy?!
Over To You
Is a night bedtime routine something you are interested in? If so, what would your blueprint consist of?
If you were inspired or learned something new today, feel free to buy me a coffee, shop all things IHW, and follow IHW on Instagram to show your solidarity and support for this safe sisterhood!
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